waving goodbye

Our time in Coimbatore is at its end.  In honor of the fact that we have only two days left before our final travels, I fiddled around with iMovie.  I'm not sure why it got blurry when I put it up here, but I guess it will have to do.  

Lets just say I'm going to miss India. 

First thing Friday, we leave to travel to North India where we will spend time in Calcutta, Varanasi, Jaipur, and Delhi before heading back to America.  Prayers would be much appreciated.  

{grand}

I wrote this a couple of days ago, but due to lack of internet, here it goes.  Better late than never right?


As our time in Coimbatore is quickly approaching an end, I find my self being forced to reflect upon my time here.  Because today was our last day of official class (don't worry - many final exams, papers, and presentations still await), and it in honor of Thanksgiving, I would like to share a list of things that I'm most thankful for.

• My internship.
• More than anything, I am thankful for the people I have met there and the examples they have set for me.  Gandhi, the social worker, truly cared about our learning.  He did everything in his power to teach us.  More strikingly, however, was that what he taught us was not guarded.  He didn't try to shelter us from some of India's devastating realities, like government corruption, but rather painted a stark picture of reality for us.  He truly cared, which is incredible to me, as we only saw him for a small time once a week.  Yesterday was our last day at the internship and the last thing Gandhi said as we left was, "Good luck on your final presentation, I know you will do great."  I'm thankful for the investment that he made into our lives and our education.
• I'm thankful for Rani, another volunteer at FFC.  I'm not even sure how to describe her faith in God except that at times it seemed almost unreal.  She has so much trust in God's plan for her life and her future; I really aspire to have a faith like hers.  I'm thankful to have a role model like Rani.
• There are so many others at FFC who have impacted me that I think I could write for days.  Angel, however, is very much worth mentioning.  She is a young girl with mental and physical disabilities; she cannot stand on her own or even speak.  What she can do, however, is laugh.  This girl has the cutest laugh and the most contagious smile.  To be able to constantly laugh in a situation like hers is unbelievable.  I'm thankful for Angel's joy.
• My fellow ISP-ers.
• This pretty much speaks for itself.  "We're all in this together."  I'm thankful for new friends.
• The hard questions.
• I think its safe to say that I'll be coming home with no answers, but rather even more questions.  Questions about everything:  religion, social stratification, womens' roles, culture...and the list goes on.  India has forced me to question what I believe, including things I never even knew I believed until they were stripped away.  Even though grappling with all the questions is a struggle, I'm thankful for them.
• My family.
• Let's be real, I wouldn't be who I am today had I not been raised the way I was.  I'm thankful for parents who go to the ends of the earth for their kids.  I'm thankful for brothers who teach me more about what it means to live out faith than almost anyone else I know.  I'm thankful for a family who can always make me laugh.  Always.  

Although Thanksgiving is not a holiday in India, and its just another Thursday, we will still get to celebrate.  My Mom came to visit for Thanksgiving and she even brought the makings for pumpkin pie.  I guess you could say that on my first Thanksgiving away from home I got pretty lucky.  She's been here since Monday and we've taken lots of adventures, including a hike, seeing a temple, visiting the poo market ("poo" means flower, of course!), did some shopping, indulged in much food characteristic to South India, and she even came to my last internship day with me.  No words describe my thankfulness to have her here with me - "great" doesn't even begin to cut it.

'Tis the season for thanks and I am thankful to be alive and breathing, filled with the love that has been shown and given to me.  

"Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; His love endures forever."  -Psalm 107:1

small, small things.

Today, feeling overwhelmed and stressed, I went on an adventure all by myself.  Mostly, I did it for the sole reason that I wanted to prove to myself that I could do it.  So, I went all by myself to a completely new part of town.  I found a cute, little fabric shop and purchased 2 yards of fabric.  Then, I proceeded to bring it to a tailor who spoke no english and by some stroke of luck conveyed to him that I wanted him to make me a shirt, rather than a salwar top (so I can hopefully wear it in America).  I count that small adventure as one of my greatest successes.

Sometimes, you just need a small victory.

"From the fullness of His grace, we have received one blessing after another." -John 1:16

Just Breathe.

Its been a while! My bad.  Let me explain.  Life has literally gotten out-of-hand crazy busy these last few weeks.  I wrote a blog about a week ago but it sounded pretty pessimistic so I wasn’t sure I wanted to post it.  Now, however, I would like to share.  Don’t worry, though, I’ll explain why.  So, here’s what I had written:

           

“I must admit that the past week has been one of the more difficult weeks here in India.  It may seem strange to say, for it certainly feels strange for me to even be able to articulate such a thought, but I think I’m experiencing culture shock.  I am not exactly sure why it would be hitting me now, when I have only a month left, but it is.  We had last weekend free of travel, free to relax, free to do the ever – growing and seemingly insurmountable peak of homework.  Because we only have three weeks left in Coimbatore, we are quickly approaching final papers, presentations, and exams.  Each of our classes require an 8-10 page research paper on topics which we selected based upon what has been covered in class throughout the semester.  I would much rather write a 25 - page paper than take a 5 - question pop quiz.  So, I entered into these papers thinking it would be a breeze.  Unfortunately, these research papers have become one extremely large and painful headache, which may be transitioning into a migraine any day here.  Because resources are very limited, research isn’t just hard; it is, literally, at times, impossible.  My goal was to get two of my four papers done this past weekend.  So, since the school library has about 100 books, all of which were written shortly after the printing press was invented, we were left to our own vices – otherwise known as Google Scholar.  This became a problem, however, because the internet that we consequently steal from our neighbors was turned off from Friday morning until Monday night.  The internet café that we usually go to in order to skype home and such didn’t have internet either – their router was broken.  The school turns its internet off during non-school hours and those are really our only three options for wi-fi.  To our great surprise, we found out that Subway had wi-fi so, of course, we braved the monsoon rain and the sketchy meat that they put on our sandwiches and attempted to do work there.  For some unknown reason, web pages would not load there either.  What should have been a productive, yet relaxing weekend turned into a stressful and very unproductive weekend.  It is now 2 in the morning here in India and I am doing my best to finish one of these papers with the web pages that I cut and pasted into a word document earlier today.  Oh India, why can’t you make things easier?”

I think that the last sentence is key.  “Oh India, why can’t you make things easier?”  So here’s the thing that I realize now but didn’t at the time.  I didn’t come to India because it was going to be easy.  In fact, I like to think that part of the reason I signed up for this was for the challenge.  And now, things are looking up.  The root of the issue seems to be stress and maybe burnout but upon trying to figure out why I was feeling this way, I realized that had I been in Seattle this quarter, I’d be feeling the same way – tired and stressed and approaching finals.  It is just that time of the academic year. 

Anyways, one of the topics of my final papers is comparing the literary works of Mahatma Gandhi and Jawaharlal Nehru (India’s first prime minister).  The background of their lives is unnecessary, but it is important to know that Nehru looked up to Gandhi and based much of his political action off of Gandhian ideals.  Nehru wrote about Gandhi and the effect that he had both on Nehru himself as well as all of India.  That is probably too much boring background, but in Nehru’s “Gandhi Comes” essay, Nehru writes, “It was against all pervading fear [of the British] that Gandhi’s quiet and determined voices was raised:  Be not afraid.  Was it as simple as that?  Not quite.  And yet fear builds its phantoms which are more fearsome than reality itself, and reality when calmly analyzed and its consequences willingly accepted, loses much of its terror.”  Upon reading this, it hit me.  Fear takes over so many of my thoughts that affect my actions, even simply in allowing the stress of finals and papers ruin my day.  I don’t need to fear, for many times the fear is irrational.  There is joy for those whose hope is in the name of the Lord and I believe that when filled with such joy, there should be much less room for fear.  I’m taking things day-by-day and reminding myself to make the most of each and every day here, because I will be devastated to see these days end. 

On a much lighter note, throughout my blogging drought, many exciting things happened. 

I viewed my first movies here, and ended up going to the movie theaters twice in two days.  The first day, I saw a Tamil movie (native to Tamil Nadu, the state where we are living).  I went with Renee, another ISP-er, and Rani from our internship, as well as Godwin, Rani’s Tamil-speaking auto driver.  The movie was all in Tamil with no subtitles.  It also had a very confusing plot complete with bombs, fighting, death, dancing, and love.  It is pretty safe to say that I was incredibly lost and confused the whole time.  Thankfully, there was an intermission, complete with popcorn, in the middle because the movie had a runtime of over 3.5 hours.  The other movie I saw was a Hindi one entitled “Ra-One.”  That one was all in Hindi and also lacked subtitles.  Eight of us from ISP went with some neighbors from our apartment complex.  I’m not sure how to describe the plot except that it was like a combination of Iron Man, The Matrix, I Robot, and Mamma Mia, in 3D.  Make of that what you will.  It was also over 3 hours long and had an intermission featuring ice cream.  Both movies were so fun even though I didn’t understand the plot at all – the experience itself was hysterical. 

We took another trip this past weekend, this time to Tanjore.  We went to an art museum featuring art from the ancient Chola dynasty; it was in a castle that you could climb to the top of to see much of the city.  People must’ve been small back then, or at least never have had Dutch or German guests because I barely fit in the staircases.  Then again, I tend to find myself ducking through most doorways here anyways.  Next, we went to another Hindu temple; this one was made of stone, and again, it was huge.  At the temple, there was a gargantuan cow sculpture called Big Nandhi that is worshipped by many who come to the temple.  All that I could think of was the golden calf in Exodus 32.  While we were there, I (and the others) were “blessed” by an elephant who put its trunk on my head and breathed its snot into my hair.  Pretty gross.  We also watched temple dancers, who worship the gods through dance.  I always feel very uneasy at the temples, but, again, it is good to see them in an attempt to further understand the complexity of the religion. 

The following day, we saw Asia’s oldest dam, a water source used for bathing, laundry and fishing.  Afterwards, we went to an ashram.  Ashrams are famous in India and are a huge source of a sort of hippie tourism.  Gandhi started the first ashram and they have taken over India ever since.  Basically, an ashram is a place where people of any faith can go to find their inner-center.  This is done through meditation and chanting.  People of any faith background can run ashrams.  The one we went to was Roman Catholic (it was also a monastery).  Interestingly enough, only two of the people living there were not Hindu.  Essentially, acceptance is key.  Although many Hindus live there, they still chant Psalms every day.  The ashram was a fascinating example of contextualization:  much of the design of the ashram appeared in a way characteristic of Hinduism, but the Hindu gods were replaced by various saints and even figures of Jesus. 

Like I said, life has been crazy.  I can’t believe that Thanksgiving is next week or that Thanksgiving is insignificant here.  Even though Thanksgiving day will be just another day of classes, there is so much to be thankful for each and every day.  God is good.  All the time. 

I was really trying to smile, it was just so gross.

The temple dancers.  So young and so beautiful.

Temple made of stone. 

You'd think it was Hindu until you really look closely.  Surprise, its St. Paul!

Happy as a clam.

It seems that I should have learned by now that God’s timing is perfect and flawless.  Time after time, though, I seem to think that mine is better. 

For the past week, I’ve been struggling with the realization that the end of this trip is now in sight.  It’s not because I don’t want to go home, or anything like that, but more so that I have let life and school here become normal.  I’ve let myself slip into a routine and that was the last thing I wanted to do.  I didn’t come to India to be comfortable but I felt like I was letting myself do so.  This could have been prompted by the fact that we didn’t travel anywhere this past weekend for the first time in quite some time and that prompted boredom for the first time quite possibly since I’ve been here.  Before I knew it, though, God put things in my days that brought new challenges, learning experiences, and things to laugh about. 

Saturday, we threw a surprise birthday party for the only guy on the team – it was his 21^st so we took him to Arabian Fried Chicken (the closest thing we can find to fast food, although it takes a good 45 minutes to get your food) and bought him American junk food as gifts. A Halloween party closely followed the surprise party that evening, where our program assistants made homemade pumpkin donuts for us.  We all dressed up with whatever we could find, which took some creativity.  Two other girls and I went as the cast of Aladdin, because we have lots of scarves and genie pants.  I was Jasmine, one girl was Aladdin and one was the Genie (who we painted blue with acrylic paint).  We played charades with some of our Indian friends who had joined the party and had a great evening just hanging out with one another. 

Monday, we had our 15 minutes of fame.  There was a press conference held for us.  As much as I wish I could say this is a joke, its not.  We were interviewed and asked very vague questions about our time in India, because, apparently we have taken Coimbatore by storm.  Aside to answering questions, we were asked to stage a fake classroom scene featuring artwork from one of the art classes offered at the school.  To our surprise, we were featured in three different newspapers, both Tamil and English.  We have become even more of celebrities than we were before and have had random people stop us on the street to tell us that they read about us in the paper. 

Following the press meet, we went to visit a Jain temple.  Just when I thought I had been as perplexed as possible by foreign religions, I was proven wrong.  On one of the first days of class, we learned that Jains wear all white, including facemasks, and carry brooms to sweep away germs.  Unfortunately, that is about all we learned about these people and as we headed to the temple, we were generally anticipating seeing a bunch of white-clad germophobes.  Unfortunately, this was not the case in any way, shape, or form when we arrived.  No one was wearing white, let alone carrying a broom.  The temple had a similar feel to that of a Hindu temple except with many swastikas used as décor.  We learned that Jains believe in 24 gods and only certain gods are present in each temple.  They hold life in high regard and do not eat or consume any kind of food that destroys life (this includes plants that are grown underground).  The swastika represents well-being, not the Nazi party; don’t worry.  One of the program assistants explained the Jain religion to me as follows:  Jainism is to Hinduism as Jehovah’s Witness is to Christianity.  That really helped me get a better grasp on the idea.  These new religions keep challenging me in what I believe, but more on that in a little while. 

Yesterday, Wednesday, was a great day and a complete blessing.  It was an internship day.  At FFC, if a girl is never adopted, she will be married off after an adequate husband is found for her.  If this happens, all of the orphans presently at FFC as well as all of the staff hold a wedding reception for the newly married couple.  Yesterday, I witnessed this firsthand and got to be a part of the reception.  This couple was different, however, and the marriage was not arranged, but rather a “love marriage,” which is very uncommon in India, let alone for an orphaned girl.  This girl was married to the love of her life at 5 am, and a reception followed at FFC.  These receptions are a big deal – everyone gets dressed up and brings gifts. 

This meant that I had the chance to get dressed up and wear my sari.  In case you are unaware, a sari is literally one huge piece of fabric (6 yards to be exact), which is simply wrapped around you.  You wear a custom-made blouse on top and a petticoat on the bottom.  Since I have no idea how to wrap a sari, I had to have a neighbor wrap it for me.  It is important to understand that when a sari is wrapped, it is basically just tucked in and safety pinned in four or five places – not very secure. It is quite a process though because it is so much fabric. When it was partway wrapped, the neighbor said, “This no good.  You too tall, need extra long.  This not okay.”  Basically, if a sari was pants, I was rocking the high-watered look all day long. That same neighbor told me I wasn’t complete without some jewelry and proceeded to go to her closet and get me a set of earrings and a necklace that matched perfectly.  I also had to wear bangles (which I bought with the sari) as well as a bindi, out of respect, because the wedding was Hindu.  Upon arrival at FFC, the grounds of the orphanage were completely transformed; chairs were set up for guests and blankets were spread for the children.  I was greeted with a traditional Hindu blessing and an additional marking of sandalwood powder above the bindi.  One of my favorite little girls was thrilled to see me and came running when she saw me; she grabbed my waist and tugged.  All that hard work on the sari quickly came undone, as the pleating unraveled and the pins came loose.  A 14-year old girl swiftly took me aside, stood on a chair and rewrapped the sari for me.  Thank goodness for her.  She took me to get tea and one of the older women who work at FFC saw me and made some exclamation in Tamil, which I took to mean that my sari was inside out (I would have never been able to tell, it was not obvious).  She took me aside and rewrapped the sari.  I could tell as she was working on it that it was loose and kept trying to explain that.  When she was done, I showed her and she looked appalled and wrapped it again.  Apparently it takes upwards of 6 Indians and many tries to wrap and American properly in a sari.  After all of that, it was time for the reception to start.  Another girl from our program and I sat in the front row; we were so excited.  The bride looked breathtakingly beautiful.  After about an hour, we had the chance to go give our gift to the bride and groom (wedding candles) and then take photos with them.  Eventually, it was lunchtime.  Unfortunately, lunch “feast” consisted of rice and very spicy sambar.  On the bright side, I am pretty sure I’m going to be a beast for spice when I get home; I could handle the spice without water, which is something I certainly would not have been able to do a couple of months ago.  After lunch, we had the chance to talk with Rani, a volunteer teacher at FFC (she was adopted from FFC to Canada at age two).  She has an amazing story and I feel so blessed to have the opportunity to know her.  It seems that every time I leave FFC, I am filled with so much joy that I can’t even explain it. 

Today, I have to give a shout out to the amazing Hess family and my phenomenal family who absolutely made my day with care packages today! You all sure know how to make a girl smile!

Now, back to religion.  For one of my final papers, I chose the topic of Hinduism because it perplexes me and frustrates me so much.  Last night, we had a team debriefing and the topic was on living as a Christian in a Hindu context.  It was during that meeting that it struck me – I have been approaching these foreign religions in the wrong way.  Rather than automatically comparing it with Christianity and being overcome by fear, I should be doing my best to understand exactly what they believe and why.  That is my goal for the rest of the time here, to understand and to love (without judgment).  85% of India is Hindu – that is a pretty large number.  We are supposed to paint the world a picture of Jesus and I want to do that to the very best of my ability.  1^st Corinthians 9:19-23 says, “Though I am free and belong to no one, I have made myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible.  To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews.  To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law.  To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God’s law but am under Christ’s law), so as to win those not having the law.  To the weak I became weak, to win the weak.  I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some.  I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings.”  One last interesting fact.  Only 2% of the Indian population is Christian and of that 2%, 80% are Dalits (the Untouchables) who generally convert because they have nothing to lose.  The upper caste tends to shy away from Christianity particularly because they have things to lose in society.  I’m still grappling with what exactly I think this means for Christians, but I think it’s a call to not forget those who we do not view as “the least,” to remember the people who don’t appear as clearly to be in need. I'm not saying the focus shouldn't be on the least because Jesus says "whatever you do to the least of these, you also do to Me," I'm just saying we can't forget the others.  

A Jain Goddess

Us with the bride and groom.

These girls bless me.

Kids at the wedding reception.

Beautiful bride and groom.