leaps&bounds: Just Breathe.

Its been a while! My bad. Let me explain. Life has literally gotten out-of-hand crazy busy these last few weeks. I wrote a blog about a week ago but it sounded pretty pessimistic so I wasn’t sure I wanted to post it. Now, however, I would like to share. Don’t worry, though, I’ll explain why. So, here’s what I had written:

“I must admit that the past week has been one of the more difficult weeks here in India. It may seem strange to say, for it certainly feels strange for me to even be able to articulate such a thought, but I think I’m experiencing culture shock. I am not exactly sure why it would be hitting me now, when I have only a month left, but it is. We had last weekend free of travel, free to relax, free to do the ever – growing and seemingly insurmountable peak of homework. Because we only have three weeks left in Coimbatore, we are quickly approaching final papers, presentations, and exams. Each of our classes require an 8-10 page research paper on topics which we selected based upon what has been covered in class throughout the semester. I would much rather write a 25 - page paper than take a 5 - question pop quiz. So, I entered into these papers thinking it would be a breeze. Unfortunately, these research papers have become one extremely large and painful headache, which may be transitioning into a migraine any day here. Because resources are very limited, research isn’t just hard; it is, literally, at times, impossible. My goal was to get two of my four papers done this past weekend. So, since the school library has about 100 books, all of which were written shortly after the printing press was invented, we were left to our own vices – otherwise known as Google Scholar. This became a problem, however, because the internet that we consequently steal from our neighbors was turned off from Friday morning until Monday night. The internet café that we usually go to in order to skype home and such didn’t have internet either – their router was broken. The school turns its internet off during non-school hours and those are really our only three options for wi-fi. To our great surprise, we found out that Subway had wi-fi so, of course, we braved the monsoon rain and the sketchy meat that they put on our sandwiches and attempted to do work there. For some unknown reason, web pages would not load there either. What should have been a productive, yet relaxing weekend turned into a stressful and very unproductive weekend. It is now 2 in the morning here in India and I am doing my best to finish one of these papers with the web pages that I cut and pasted into a word document earlier today. Oh India, why can’t you make things easier?”

I think that the last sentence is key. “Oh India, why can’t you make things easier?” So here’s the thing that I realize now but didn’t at the time. I didn’t come to India because it was going to be easy. In fact, I like to think that part of the reason I signed up for this was for the challenge. And now, things are looking up. The root of the issue seems to be stress and maybe burnout but upon trying to figure out why I was feeling this way, I realized that had I been in Seattle this quarter, I’d be feeling the same way – tired and stressed and approaching finals. It is just that time of the academic year.

Anyways, one of the topics of my final papers is comparing the literary works of Mahatma Gandhi and Jawaharlal Nehru (India’s first prime minister). The background of their lives is unnecessary, but it is important to know that Nehru looked up to Gandhi and based much of his political action off of Gandhian ideals. Nehru wrote about Gandhi and the effect that he had both on Nehru himself as well as all of India. That is probably too much boring background, but in Nehru’s “Gandhi Comes” essay, Nehru writes, “It was against all pervading fear [of the British] that Gandhi’s quiet and determined voices was raised: Be not afraid. Was it as simple as that? Not quite. And yet fear builds its phantoms which are more fearsome than reality itself, and reality when calmly analyzed and its consequences willingly accepted, loses much of its terror.” Upon reading this, it hit me. Fear takes over so many of my thoughts that affect my actions, even simply in allowing the stress of finals and papers ruin my day. I don’t need to fear, for many times the fear is irrational. There is joy for those whose hope is in the name of the Lord and I believe that when filled with such joy, there should be much less room for fear. I’m taking things day-by-day and reminding myself to make the most of each and every day here, because I will be devastated to see these days end.

On a much lighter note, throughout my blogging drought, many exciting things happened.

I viewed my first movies here, and ended up going to the movie theaters twice in two days. The first day, I saw a Tamil movie (native to Tamil Nadu, the state where we are living). I went with Renee, another ISP-er, and Rani from our internship, as well as Godwin, Rani’s Tamil-speaking auto driver. The movie was all in Tamil with no subtitles. It also had a very confusing plot complete with bombs, fighting, death, dancing, and love. It is pretty safe to say that I was incredibly lost and confused the whole time. Thankfully, there was an intermission, complete with popcorn, in the middle because the movie had a runtime of over 3.5 hours. The other movie I saw was a Hindi one entitled “Ra-One.” That one was all in Hindi and also lacked subtitles. Eight of us from ISP went with some neighbors from our apartment complex. I’m not sure how to describe the plot except that it was like a combination of Iron Man, The Matrix, I Robot, and Mamma Mia, in 3D. Make of that what you will. It was also over 3 hours long and had an intermission featuring ice cream. Both movies were so fun even though I didn’t understand the plot at all – the experience itself was hysterical.

We took another trip this past weekend, this time to Tanjore. We went to an art museum featuring art from the ancient Chola dynasty; it was in a castle that you could climb to the top of to see much of the city. People must’ve been small back then, or at least never have had Dutch or German guests because I barely fit in the staircases. Then again, I tend to find myself ducking through most doorways here anyways. Next, we went to another Hindu temple; this one was made of stone, and again, it was huge. At the temple, there was a gargantuan cow sculpture called Big Nandhi that is worshipped by many who come to the temple. All that I could think of was the golden calf in Exodus 32. While we were there, I (and the others) were “blessed” by an elephant who put its trunk on my head and breathed its snot into my hair. Pretty gross. We also watched temple dancers, who worship the gods through dance. I always feel very uneasy at the temples, but, again, it is good to see them in an attempt to further understand the complexity of the religion.

The following day, we saw Asia’s oldest dam, a water source used for bathing, laundry and fishing. Afterwards, we went to an ashram. Ashrams are famous in India and are a huge source of a sort of hippie tourism. Gandhi started the first ashram and they have taken over India ever since. Basically, an ashram is a place where people of any faith can go to find their inner-center. This is done through meditation and chanting. People of any faith background can run ashrams. The one we went to was Roman Catholic (it was also a monastery). Interestingly enough, only two of the people living there were not Hindu. Essentially, acceptance is key. Although many Hindus live there, they still chant Psalms every day. The ashram was a fascinating example of contextualization: much of the design of the ashram appeared in a way characteristic of Hinduism, but the Hindu gods were replaced by various saints and even figures of Jesus.

Like I said, life has been crazy. I can’t believe that Thanksgiving is next week or that Thanksgiving is insignificant here. Even though Thanksgiving day will be just another day of classes, there is so much to be thankful for each and every day. God is good. All the time.