raindrops.

Each quarter is something brand new, a fresh start.  Today was the first day of winter quarter.  After this one, I'll only have one more winter quarter left to go and then its time for the real world, whatever that means.

Today was rough.  It felt like a Monday, even though its Wednesday.  I had all three of my classes today, spanning from 9:30-3.  Buying textbooks for just those three classes cost over $450; they weren't even new.  The classes were difficult, but more difficult than the work was dealing with the fact that I just don't feel like I belong.  I feel like I'm walking around campus like a ghost, and when I have a chance to stop and think about things, I feel restless.  I want to get back to India, where things felt so right.  

Its comforting to think about the fact that being there was one of the biggest challenges of my life, and yet, at the same time, one of the biggest blessings.  Gandhiji once said, "Everything you do in life will be insignificant, but its very important that you do it."  While I was there, India felt like an insignificant blip on the radar, something that I would do to broaden my worldview, but it was important.  It changed me.  

I now recognize the individualistic nature of most Americans, the materialism that plagues our country, and the hurry that we all seem to be in to make it through life.  I am a victim of all of the above and with all of my heart I hope I can change that.  Today, I miss India and I miss my ISP friends and I miss my family.  

I have no doubt in my mind that things will get better.  We got the warnings about reverse culture shock and I just didn't anticipate mine being a real issue that I'd have to deal with.  That being said, I suppose its a beautiful thing, of sorts, that I am a changed person upon my return, so changed that I can't comfortably go back to who I was.  I guess thats progress, right?

1 Cor. 16:13