Give me an answerGive me the way outGive me the faithTo believe in these hard times-"These Hard Times," by Needtobreathe
Its after 2:20 in the morning and I should really be sleeping. I'm tired and I want to be fast asleep. But, I cant seem get that rest that I so desperately want and need. There's a restlessness in my body, it feels as though butterflies are not only flying around my stomach, but also surging through my veins; there's a restlessness in my mind, like my brain has a broken switch that I can't turn off. I've heard people talk about feeling restless but until a little while ago, I just didn't get it. I thought those people were silly and just needed to take some sleeping pills and get over their self-diagnosed insomnia. Boy, was I wrong as ever. I am restless. I've been restless for the last month, since December 17, when I touched down on American soil. My mind won't quit going. All I can think about is what to do next. Where do I go from here? I'm restless.
I'm going to sound like a huge sap when I say this, but as I go through the motions day to day and lay in bed trying to sleep at night, I can't stop thinking about the orphans. I think about the orphans in India and how badly I want to be back, holding Angel in my arms, hearing her laugh. I think about the orphans in the Philippines and what I would give to run around with my not-so-little-anymore Joshua, who stole my heart. I can't let the feelings go and my heart hurts for the children. I've been told to never lose hope, but for some of the orphans, its hard to see any hope at all. There's a harsh reality that some will not be adopted. Some will be adopted by parents with very wrong motives. At the same time, so many are being adopted by loving families and I am thankful beyond measure for that. But some won't be adopted. Ever. Some will never be loved in the way that a child should be loved. Its those kids for whom my heart is constantly heavy. Its those kids that I can't stop thinking about.
"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." -2 Corinthians 4:16-18
Its after 2:20 in the morning and I should really be sleeping. I'm tired and I want to be fast asleep. But, I cant seem get that rest that I so desperately want and need. There's a restlessness in my body, it feels as though butterflies are not only flying around my stomach, but also surging through my veins; there's a restlessness in my mind, like my brain has a broken switch that I can't turn off. I've heard people talk about feeling restless but until a little while ago, I just didn't get it. I thought those people were silly and just needed to take some sleeping pills and get over their self-diagnosed insomnia. Boy, was I wrong as ever. I am restless. I've been restless for the last month, since December 17, when I touched down on American soil. My mind won't quit going. All I can think about is what to do next. Where do I go from here? I'm restless.
I'm going to sound like a huge sap when I say this, but as I go through the motions day to day and lay in bed trying to sleep at night, I can't stop thinking about the orphans. I think about the orphans in India and how badly I want to be back, holding Angel in my arms, hearing her laugh. I think about the orphans in the Philippines and what I would give to run around with my not-so-little-anymore Joshua, who stole my heart. I can't let the feelings go and my heart hurts for the children. I've been told to never lose hope, but for some of the orphans, its hard to see any hope at all. There's a harsh reality that some will not be adopted. Some will be adopted by parents with very wrong motives. At the same time, so many are being adopted by loving families and I am thankful beyond measure for that. But some won't be adopted. Ever. Some will never be loved in the way that a child should be loved. Its those kids for whom my heart is constantly heavy. Its those kids that I can't stop thinking about.
"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." -2 Corinthians 4:16-18
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